The Mule Fan

Mule Fan Spring Training 2009-First Edition


Mules Football Roars Back to Life as Spring Training Launches May 4
Mule Fan Editors Cohen and Rosenthal Reluctantly Agree to Blow the Dust Off their Word Processors to Tell the Story

By Bob Cohen

(San Antonio)--Wake up from your winter slumber Mule fans! To quote some cigar-chomping dude from a less-enlightened time many moons ago, “there’s only two seasons in Texas – Football and Spring Football.” Of course, we do not look at it that way any longer. There are all sorts of extracurricular activities that we all love and follow closely. Our hats are off to all participants at all levels in all the winter and spring activities.

But there is this little three week chance to slake our thirsts for Alamo Heights football called Spring Training and it is underway now. To reset, you may recall that it had been a very long time since Alamo Heights had conducted Spring Training in pads. It is a myth that leather helmets and high-top cleats were involved but still football at AH and most other schools in the area was reserved for those crisp early days of August when you start to get that little nip of Fall in the air! I think someone once said it’s kind of like those breezy autumn afternoons on the planet Mercury… Anyway, Coach Don Byrd decided last year to take a shot at getting in three full weeks of full contact work at a time of year when preparing for a game was not the number one priority. Obviously, he liked how that worked out so off we go again. Scar tissue has now formed on the 2008 season – a fine piece of work with a jagged-edged ending that we all choked down in Round Rock and a chilly evening last November. That’s all behind us now as the boys will get in three good weeks of work concluding with a spring game on May 21st.

Now we don’t actually know if the Mule Fan blog was in-service last spring although a simple call to Erik Andersen would solve that or a scroll through the archives might also do it. But this reporter does know that Mr. Rosenthal and I were not officially varsity daddies yet so we had no hand in it. Or more accurately, it would be a few more months until we were lashed to a tree near Olmos Park with cold-rolled steel bands by senior parents and doused with molasses, La Fonda hot sauce and fire ants until we ‘agreed’ to write this thing. (A flash back of that miserable day: “Someone has to do this and it is going to be dads of juniors! We’ve been through the roster and we’ve heard all the reasons why. Everyone is saying they don’t have time because they’re rearranging their sock drawers. The others just won’t do it and you guys are all that’s left! Now do this and like it or we’ll leave you to the badgers.”) Sorry but sometimes that memory just comes out. I can’t control it yet. Just a few more therapy sessions….

Well back to reality. You may recall that your 2008 Mule Fan editors had to cut a last minute deal with the publishers last season in order to continue writing through the playoffs (wonder why they didn’t sort that out while the molasses and fire ants were in play). Included in that obscenely lucrative package was an agreement to cobble together some sporting prose here in the spring. However, as a result of the arduous and acrimonious negotiations, there was fear amongst members of management that your typically trusty scribes might retaliate and do something silly like put in a connect-the-dots drawing of Caledonia or translate the AH fight song in Welsh or something like that to get off easy. Nope. We have our integrity. But our “win” was that we write what we want, whenever we feel like it and always retain full creative control.

Now with those bits fully disclosed we commit here and now to be true to that agreement. For you readers to have any expectations of what you’ll see in the Mule Fan this May and how often you’ll see it would set you up for disappointment. To those readers who are new to the Mule Fan and don’t appreciate a good dose of sarcasm, hyperbole, simile and metaphor, then this space is not for you. You’d be better served with a good cook book or a pamphlet describing the Dewey Decimal System. Meanwhile, we have always appreciated the accessibility provided to us by Mules head coach Don Byrd and his staff. We may try our hand with a few new things and some of your favorites. But we'll try and get the story out about our boys as they prepare for the 2009 season. Did you know that this next school year is the Centennial Year of Alamo Heights Schools? Yep for the non-math majors, that’s 100 years. We’re fired up for that and ready to see some May contact on that brand new patch of artificial turf at Harry B. Orem Stadium. (During this off-season, we've wondered if fake sheep can graze on artificial turf?) Keep it bookmarked right here and maybe we’ll write something.

Let us know if you want to be on the e-mail blast which alerts you when and if we’ve gotten off our hineys and actually filed a story. That’s a service usually reserved for the Fall editions but since you’ve paid the subscription, we thought we’d keep that in the deal. Heck, tell all your friend! Mule Fan editor Rosenthal is the keeper of the e-mail blast list and he can be reached at brosenthal@trpsalaw.com. Or you can send it to this reporter bobcohen@sbcglobal.net and I’ll go through the additional inconvenient step of forwarding it to brosenthal@trpsalaw.com. If you have any story ideas, helpful suggestions, constructive criticisms, or know where you can still buy the original 60’s novelty candy drink tablet “Fizzies” just let us know.

Season Ticket Renewal Deadline Looming on May 15th

Well it didn’t take long to awaken the mighty information machine on the north end of Harry B. Orem Stadium. In the time it takes to draw one deep breath, mere moments after releasing our first Spring Mule Fan post, Patty Juarez – the keeper of the meaning of Mule – weighs in with this important piece of business (and this is serious). Friday, May 15th is the last day to renew season tickets and to get in your payments to reserve your seats from last season.

As you may know Patty Juarez keeps a lot of plates spinning on sticks for the AH athletic department and the spring is no different. So she will be on assignment on the 8th and the 15th so the athletic offices may in fact be closed on those days. If it is, do not despair. This does not mean that you will have to be peeping through the hedges when the season starts provided you carefully follow these instructions. If you elect to conduct this complicated transaction on those specific days mentioned above, simply bring your check in an envelope and push it through the mail drop slot at the office. The Mule Fan recommends that you accompany your check with a hastily scribbled note containing enough information (like contact details) to keep Patty from saying – “huh???” Confused? Then go to the mountaintop and speak to the Mule Whisperer herself
820-8855.